TALKING rat causes stir at the multi-million RAND Zuma Nkandla home

After escaping prosecution by a whisker last year, Jacob’s Zuma’s wife Nompumelelo Ntuli Zuma is in the news again for a more serious offence.
A close source and confidante has revealed under anonymity that a talking rat recently caused havoc at Zuma’s multi million residence in Nkandla.
The source further went on to indicate that the huge rat emitted from Nompulelo’s bedroom and it was decorated in traditional cloth. The sighting sent shivers down the presidential gurads’ spines who did not know whether to shoot it or pour umqomboti to appease the ancestors to take back the rat.
Things turned for the worst when the rat started talking in fluent zulu saying it had been hiding in Nompulelo’s bedroom waiting for the perfect opportune to “strike”.
No one on scene was brave enough to ask the talking rat what it meant by “strike”. The rat further went on to say it had left the bedroom where it stayed in a pot because of the current heat wave that’s crippling the country.
An eyewitness on the ground reported via WhatsApp saying “Into yokuqala enje eseke yenzeka” (this is the first time we are seeing something like this and “igundane lalinnepipi elikhulu (it has a huge manhood).
The “visitor rat” was dressed or rather decorated in Zulu regalia complete with beads coupled with a note wrapped around its neck. The contents of the note remains a mystery as no one was brave enough to venture near the rat to retrieve the paper note. However, one hawk-eyed spectator said she saw the phrase “Zuma uzo..” on the note.
The talking rat further strolled to the other side of the president’s residence and took a dip in the fire pool in a bid to cool itself from the blistering heat. Everyone froze in fear as the rather boisterous gundwane cheekily performed a few swimming strokes that would win it the rat’s Olympics if ever they hold them.
Another source said, “Igundane lalimoyezela lathi lilapha ukuzohlala” (The rat was smiling and said it is here to stay).
Efforts to get an official statement from Ma Ntuli or the office of the president proved fruitless as their phones went unanswered.